Letter to someone I miss the most

When I saw the title of who I should write to today the first person that popped into mind was my grandma but, I have already written her a letter so I thought for a second and realized there was someone I missed just as much....








Dear ME:

Where are you? The strong and independent happy woman you were about 4 yrs ago. Where did you lose yourself? It seems like you so easily lose who you are in other people. You are so easily persuaded to feel differently about yourself because others do. You were so brave and almost indestructible but, yet in the past couple of years you have allowed things so much smaller than you to defeat you. You went through so much to become the healthy happy woman you were and you have allowed others to steal your joy and your faith in yourself. So where are you hidding? I can feel within me that your trying to come out again but, your that scared girl afraid of failure and afraid of how you may look because of the choices you are making. Where is the fearless girl that follows her heart and stands up for what she wants and what she deserves no matter what? What happen to your faith and strength? I am so disappointed that you have changed so much. I hope to find you soon and that you will become the woman God intended you to be. That you will love yourself and find yourself worth fighting for. Practice what you preach Tanya and listen to all of the wise things you have learned on your journey in this life. Be so stubbornly you and someone will appreciate you! I know I do! Until you return I will pray for you. For your heart to be mended once again and for you to have the joy you so deserve. Ill wait for you!

Sincerely,

You

Letter to someone that I have drifted away from.

Dear Ashley

Boy did we come into each others live's at the perfect time. Two independent, stubborn and hardworking single moms. We were so tough on the outside but, little did we know that our hearts needed a specific kind of friend. The kind to allow one another to be weak, scared and overwhelmed. A friend that could look at you and see that you were on the verge of a meltdown, histarical laughing (when we couldnt cry) or a rage blackout. We were dependable friends without fail. My life was so blessed and still is having known you and your children. We both had wisdom to share and yours (when I used it) saved me! When I didnt broke me but, you were always there with a shoulder to cry on, and arm to punch or to just be a friend to laugh with. Your such a strong person and although we have lost touch I know that if something were to happy to me or my family you would be the first to show up and take action. You have always had my back even when I was wrong and I appreciate that. The memories I have will stay with me forever. From Tashapalooza to the sad lonely nights we cried together, to leaving some weirdo on brookside. I can honestly say life in those days were never dull. I love you. You hold a very special place in my heart and you always will. You were my life saver friend and I appreciate you more than you will ever know. I hate that we dont talk or hang out as much but, I still think of you as a very close friend. I love you

Tanya

Letter to someone you hope can forgive you.

This letter was super hard for me. I actually have been thinking about who I should write a letter to. Im not proud of this fact but, I have been pretty crappy to alot of people. I bullied girls in school, I have said horrible things to my friends, and I havent always been a super forgiving person. Every time I thought about this letter one sweet girl enter my mind each time so this letter is for her.

Dear Kelbie

I truly hope that you know without a doubt that I have always had your best interest at heart. That being said I have made some horrible life changing choices that have affected you in so many ways. While I know I did the best I could at the time I made each decision. Growing up and becoming wiser is hard because you have to look at the mistakes you made and face the fact that no matter what your motives were you still screwed up. Even harder than that is when you realize that those choices hurt someone you love. Im sorry for the poor choice I made in high school when I immaturely gave myself to a boy that I never loved and in return he never loved me. Im sorry that I chose him to be your father even if it wasnt a direct choice. Im sorry for every single ounce of pain that it has caused you. Im sorry for anything I have ever done or said that would make you feel like anything less than the precious person you are. I hope that as you grow when you think of me you feel as if I only built you up and never tore you down. Im sorry for the times I lost my temper and lashed out at you. Im so sorry for that year that I left you way too much to be with my friends. I know that hurt you so much and that it made you feel that you werent the most important thing in my life. I cant take it back but, I hope to restore that trust! You are my heart. You are my everything! You and your sister have been my inspiration to be the best form of me that I can. I hope that when you think of these things you can find it in your heart to forgive me and realize that I am only human! I wouldnt ever hurt you intentionally. I love you

Love your mama

Letter to someone who has caused you the most pain

I wasnt sure exactly who to write this letter too. There are so many different kinds of pain from physical, to emotional to the kind of pain that literally rips your heart apart and like most people I have felt every one of those. The problem was that so many people contributed to my broken heart. I cant just name one so here it goes

Dear Anyone who abused me:

To my parents who didnt protect me as a child, to my biological grandma who kidnapped and tortured me for a yr, to the men who helped her torture me, to the men my mother married who molested/raped me, to a dad who abandoned me, to boyfriends who hit me, to emotional abuse from others, to friends who have used me and then stabbed me in the back

I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being as sick and twisted as you have to be to harm a child the way you did. Thank you for the physical abuse that left scars on my body to remind me of just what I have overcome. Thank you for the emotional scars that trigger me to be a crazy lunatic if anyone tries to harm my children. Thank you for the instinct of knowing trouble when I see it. Thank you for tearing my heart out of my chest, stomping on it, and then placing it back in for only me and God to repair because it reminds me that it never stop beating therefore, you didnt destroy me. Thank you for the mind games that confused me about what real life and real relationships are suppose to be. Thank you for scaring my insides so much that I wasnt suppose to ever have children because once again you were defeated each time I gave birth. Thank you for starving me, not bathing me, not giving me the small things children are suppose to have because now its the little things like a hot bath and mexican pizza that are just amazing to me. Thank you for trying with all your efforts to kill me, destroy me and to make me just as dark as you are because you didnt. Because I win! You have scared me both physically and mentally but, you didnt destroy me and because of that I know without a doubt I can survive the unsurvivable! Im stronger than any of you ever were and you cant beat me. I am a child of the most high, loving, caring, and amazing God. My destiny was always to be blessed and happy and with all your efforts you didnt take that from me. So thank you. All of my pain, tears, and blood have sealed your fate.

Tanya

Letter to someone who has passed away that I wish I could talk to.

Dear Nana:

This is the hardest letter that I have had to write yet. God, I miss you so much. I cant believe you have been gone out of my life for 12 yrs. It feels like just yesterday that you were here. There hasnt been a day go by that I didnt wish you were here. Some days Im mad at you for leaving us and others my heart hurts so bad that I cant hardly stand it. You were my rock! I talked to you about everything and you always gave it to me straight. I feel like I am really messing up these days and I so wish that you were here to tell me whether I am making the right choices for me and the girls. My life was so much easier when you were here. I know you never butted in my business or made choices for me but, knowing you were there behind that glass door of the only home I ever knew made all of my trial seem a little less horrible. I think all of the time that I am going to forget you. It seems like with the years I forget little things about you like the sound of your laugh. What I would do just to hear you laugh one more time. I miss the smell of your kitchen and the warmth of your home.

You always believed in me and I wish so much that I knew why? I wish I could believe in myself half as much as you believed in me. I wish I had half your strength and wisdom. Somedays like today I just wish I could be with you in heaven. Life here is so hard and there are so many choices that shape the future for my children and Im just scared of my decisions and my mistakes. I know your near me cheering me on and I know you know that I will be ok! I know you will insure that we are always ok but, I just wish I could hear you say it. There are times that when I sit alone and think of you that I really feel you there. Im not really sure if that makes me crazy but, I choose to believe it is you and that your with me always.

I need you to know that you were my everything as a child and I never realized it until about 4 yrs after you were gone. I always felt like nobody really wanted me around but, you always wanted me and you always made me feel wanted. In my craziest times you made me feel like I was sane. In my weakest moments you were strong and you taught me about love. I never knew love until you. I never knew nuturing or caring until you. You were everything to me. You were my mom, dad, friend, grandma and most of all my biggiest fan. You always believed in me. You saved me in so many ways and you taught me so many things and I feel like you took alot of me with you. Im not a super caring person anymore. I have become so cold and numb to things that should really matter to me. Im not always proud of the person I am and I know maybe you look down on me and are disappointed. I just dont know how to be that girl you raised me to be. This world is so unfair, confusing and hard. Most days I put a fake smile on my face and go about my business because thats what you taught me to do. When I dont have fight left in me for me I fight for my kids. I know I get that strength from you. I miss you so much!
I heard yesterday that grandpa is dying. That he has 6 mos to live and the only thing that I could think was how mad and hurt i am that he gets to see you first. Do you know I havent talked to him since your funeral? I am just mortified that he was married 2 mos after you died and he sold the only home I ever had without a blink of an eye. I hate him for that. I also hate him for not being a good husband to you. He never deserved you and you did so much for him, his children and grandchildren. Im sorry you had to die with that sadness in your heart. I hope when/if he gets to heaven you tell him how it is! He is a bastard for treating you the way he did.
Kelbie is 14 now and oh my goodness I can just imagine how proud of her you are. She is so responsible and sweet. I just wish she remembered you more. You were such a blessing to us and i know she loves you still today
Aspen is a firecracker and you would adore her! She is everywhere all at once. I tell her about you all the time and she acts like she knows you. Maybe she does?
I miss you beyond words and cant wait to see you again one day! I love you.

A letter to someone I wish I talked to more. Rene Leigh

Dear Rene:

You came into my life at the perfect time. I will never forget the first time I met you. I had just been hired to work at EXB(aka hell) and you were the drive thru teller. I thought right off bat "her and I are going to get along great". Lil did I know that you would beat me up in the drive thru, become the posta police and tell everyone that I pooped in the bathroom. Thanks for that. I never realized the impact that you would have on my life. You saved me in so many ways and I wish there were something I could do to repay you (maybe come back and work with you..lol) . Of all of the friends I have made in my life you touched me the most. I could cry to you (although I knew that made you extremely uncomfortable), scream to you, and laugh with you. You taught me that life could be fun and that if I could just learn to laugh life wouldnt be so hard. I laughed until I cried so many times with you (mostly while makin fun of christa). You were always there for me and my girls when we needed you the most. I feel like although you know I love you very much that you got the short end of the deal in our friendship. I hope that somehow I made a difference in your life and I hope you know that no matter how many days go by that I dont talk to you, I think of you daily and miss you more than you know. Your an exceptional person and I am a better person for the time we spent together and the things you taught me (mostly how to balance my checkbook). I hope that you know that you are forever in my heart as one of my best friends. Thank you for sharing your life with me. I miss you so much!

PS: Im sure this letter is a bit to mushy for you so I added in some funnies. I always was more witty than you.!

I love you!

Tanya

Letter to someone I wish I could meet

This one was a bit hard for me too because there are actually 2 people that come to mind when I think I someone I could have met but, never got the chance. First, is my best friend Jessika's mom. The second is my boyfriends dad. So they each get a letter today.

Dear Karen

I could say a million things to you about how beautiful your daughter is but, as a mom I know that I wouldn't be telling you anything you didn't already know. I just wanted to write and tell you thanks for being the strong woman you were and raising her to be the woman she is today. My life has been touched by her so many times that I have lost count. She speaks of you as if you were more than a "SuperMom". I know you are watching over her and I know that you are just so proud of everything she is and everything she stands for. Thank you for teaching morals, about motives and most of all how to be selfless. On one hand I love that about her but, as you know she takes selflessness to a whole new level. Its almost a downfall at times. She compares me to you alot and I want you to know that its one of the best compliments I have ever received. You were an amazing woman.

Next, I want you to know she misses you just about every moment of everyday. I know she goes from being so unbelievably broken from losing you to fighting mad at you for leaving her. I know you understand and I know regardless of how horrible she may talk at you that you never leave her side. I wish there was a way that she could feel your presence because I know that it would give her some peace. There are no words to describe the sorrow that Jes feels over losing you but, also over losing you the way that she did. I cant imagine being in her head or heart for one day. Wondering what really happened. Wanting so bad to solve the mystery. I know without a doubt that you fought to stay with her. I know you would have done anything to stay. I know we have no control over when we go and I know you wouldn't leave your children ever if you would of had the choice. I'm sorry that you didn't. I'm not really sure exactly what I believe in about the after life. I know without a doubt there is heaven and there is hell but, as for ghosts and spirits I'm not sure what I believe so I just want to say this to you. If there is anyway to solve what happened to you and you are where you can help her please do. I want so much to see Jes completely happy and I know that nothing can bring you back but, for her to know exactly what happened would give her peace of mind and I know she would fight until the day she dies for justice for you. You were her entire world and you taught her all she knows. Everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I thank you so much for that and I hope that you are resting in peace knowing that although I could never love her the way you did, I will ALWAYS take care of her. That's my promise to you.

Dear Randy the 1st:

I have heard so much about you from Randy and others. It seems like you were a "Good Samaritan" of sorts. Your son def takes after you in that. People talk about how fun and crazy you were and how you never let people take advantage of you. I wanted to write to you and tell you thank you for everything you did teach your son. I also want you to know that he hurts so much over the times you were not in his life. He wishes so much that you would of been more involved in his life and I think that he feels maybe a little cheated. There is no doubt that he loved you very much and that in alot of ways he looks up to you. He does his very best to take care of his siblings and worries about all of them more than he would ever show. He always says that he wishes you could see him now and see all the progress he has made since he lost you. He has really grown into a successful man. He is a wonderful dad to Aly and also to my girls and I know that he watch you take Tyler under your wing and treat him as your own. I have to say thank you for that because Randy is just like you in that aspect. He is always willing to do whatever for all 3 of our children. I hope you know just how amazing he really is and I hope that you look down on us and are proud of the life he has made. I know that if you could do things differently that you would. Im sorry that you never got the chance to do that. I know that he also wonders how you died because it was so sudden and I wish there was a way to know so that he could let go of that part and start to heal from losing you. He doesn't deal with things like that very well and I assume maybe that came from you too. lol.

I want you to know that I love your son. I love him from a place I have never loved anyone else and I thank you for whatever part, big or small, you had in making him the man he is today. I pray that you rest in peace and look down on us often.

Letter to a stranger

Dear Stranger Pregnant Girl:

I saw you saturday at the lake like I have many other saturdays. There you sit with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. You wear no shame on your face? I often want to walk up and put your cig out and jerk that beer out of your hand. I would love to slap some sense into your dumb little head. It amazes me that you do all these distructive things to your unborn child. It makes me wonder what kind of value you put on your childs life and it scares the hell out of me to wonder what things that child will see before it can even speak. I assume that you must be a miserable person. I also assume you dont have a damn friend in this world because I know my friends would knock me silly if I ever pulled such a stunt. Im sorry for you for that. I hope that you pull your head out of your beer bottle soon and start to live a healthy life for your unborn child. I pray daily for your baby! I hope he/she is born healthy and I also pray that some how that child will be taken from you and given to some woman who would give up anything (beer and cigs being the least of those things) to have a child. Its digusting to watch you. You should pray that I dont follow my gut and come slap you silly before the end of the summer! How dare you!

Tdazzle

Oops! I keep skipping around

I just realized I missed the letter to my parents (that may take awhile) and I skipped a letter to a stranger you saw on that day. I will get right to writing those. I would expect the stranger one way before the parents. lol.

Sorry Im so sparatic!

Todays Letter...My Fav Internet Friend

My favorite internet friend is so much more than just that...

Dear Autumn:

You are so much more than just my internet friend but, since we communicate more on the internet than any other way I decided you just had to get this letter.

I love this picture too. There are times that I have felt your arm around my shoulder just chatting with you on instant messenger. So many times you have hugged me with encouraging words and inspirational motivation. So many times you have stopped what you are doing just to chat with me! It really means the world to me to have a friend like you. You never judge and are always in my corner. Alot of times you have friends in life that say all the right things like " Call me if you need anything", "I will do whatever you need" and then there are friends like you that just "Do" those things without being asked. I love you more than you will ever know and I appreciate all the things you "DO"!
I hope that you and I are always friends. I hope that with age and time that we grow closer and more than anything I hope you know that I am always willing and ready to DO whatever I can to help you at anytime! Your such a sweet person and I am so proud to call you my FAVORITE FRIEND...the internet really has nothing to do with it!!!

I love you to the moon

Tdazzle

Oh Snap, A Letter to my EX's

I have 2 Ex's (baby daddies) so they each get a letter

Dear Mike

First I want to thank you for the only good thing that came of our immature drama filled high school relationship and that's my daughter Kelbie Mae.

Second, I want to say I'm sorry! I'm sure you wonder what in the world I have to be sorry for. Or maybe your thinking its about time she realizes what all she has done to me. So here it goes.

I'm sorry that I allowed you to talk to me and treat me the way you did. I'm sorry that I allowed you and I to believe that I was a piece of property and that you owned me. I'm sorry that you were so insecure that you had to constantly tear me down to make yourself feel better! I'm sorry I allowed myself to be your doormat, punching bag and rag doll. I'm sorry that I didn't continue to beat the living hell out of you with that chair in the lunch room the day you started that fight with me. I'm sorry that I cared enough about you to ever let anything you said or did to me hurt me. I'm sorry that you didn't take responsibility for your part in getting me pregnant. I'm sorry that you were never man enough to be a dad to Kelbie. I'm sorry that I didn't punch your right in your mouth when you told me you didn't think she was yours. I'm sorry that you were ever under the impression that you were a good man. I'm sorry your not smart enough to know what your role as a father is. I'm sorry that I didn't kill you the day you took Kelbie to eat dinner and would only allow her to eat a salad because she was getting "a lil chunky" I'm sorry that I allowed you to break her spirit in any way. I'm sorry that you missed all her first words, first steps and first birthdays. I'm more sorry that you were the first boy to ever break her heart. I'm sorry that your actions have caused Kelbie to have trust issues and to feel like she is never enough. I'm sorry that you don't know her favorite color, food and sport. I'm sorry that you never cared to know what her passions are and what she enjoys the most. I'm sorry you have never been on the receiving side of her anger because you put most of it there. I'm sorry you don't realize what a blessing she was to you. I'm sorry that you choose to take care of a child who isn't even biologically yours while there were times she went without because you didn't pay support. I'm sorry that for every single way you have been able to hurt her. I'm sorry she doesn't yet have the nerve to tell you how much your absence has effected her life. I'm sorry that you have never been there yet, you will probably be the one that gets to give her away one day. I'm sorry she will never know what it truly feels like to have her father care about every aspect of her life. I'm sorry that God saw it fit to make you the father of my beautiful daughter. I'm sorry that I don't understand his ways. I'm sorry that you don't understand yours. I'm sorry that while you pretend to be a good man that the most important thing in my life only has you to look at when trying to figure out what a man really is. I'm sorry your such a poor excuse of a man! Most of all I'm sorry that I laid down with you when I clearly had no idea of what a horrible outcome it could cause and I am so unbelievably sorry for my part in damaging the most beautiful thing in my life.

I hope God has mercy on you when you stand before him. I hope I can one day forgive you!

Dear Cary

Oh what a disppointment you turned out to be. You turned into everything I never thought you could be. You were always so good with children and seemed to be such a caring person. Im sorry that I married you because I never loved you. Im sorry that I thought getting married would make things better and Im sorry that I was too broken and immature to realize what a horrible mistake it really would be. I cant believe that I would marry someone like you and more so I cant believe that I would bring a child into this world with you. Im sorry that after our marriage was over that I still believed in you. I believed you would be a good dad to Aspen and I believed you would never hurt her. Im sorry that I forced her on you and Im sorry that I allowed you to neglect her when you did have her. Im sorry that you chose drugs and alcohol over your own flesh and blood. Im sorry that you are so broken and diseased that you cant see what you have done to her emotionally. Im sorry that you broke her spirit by not coming through on promises you made to her. Im sorry that you come from such a worthless family who doesnt believe in the bond of a family. Im sorry that it took you 6 yrs to decide you didnt want to be a father to her anymore. Im sorry that you disappearing out of her life effected her so much. Im sorry that she still loves you enough to miss you even 2.5 years after you abandoned her. Im sorry that every trait she gets from you is negative because really you were never good. Im sorry I didnt see that. Im sorry that she still loves you and believes you love her back. Im sorry that she will continue to always wonder what she could of done or could of been to make you stay. Im sorry that they didnt lock you up when you drove drunk with the most precious thing in my life sitting next to you. I hope that your saddness and your guilt stay with you until the day you die. Im sorry that you were the first man in her life and that you taught her all of the wrong/hurtful things a man can do to a girl. I just hope she realizes them and doesnt choose a man like you. I hate you for breaking her heart. I hate you for pretending to care and I absolutley hate that you have no self control when it come to drugs and drinking. Not even enough to stop you from putting my baby in harms way. Im sorry that there isnt corporal punishment for that. Im sorry that you dont see what a phenominal soccer player& athlete she is. Im sorry you never see all of her amazing talents & characteristics. Im sorry you dont know all her fears and insecurities because most of them were place inside her because of you. Im sorry that she is 8 yrs old and she already thinks that everyone eventually leaves. Im sorry there isnt a punishment for being a deadbeat parent. I hope that your life is in turmoil and that you hurt for the rest of your life. I pray that you one day sober up and see the pain you have caused her. I hope that you get to experience even half of that pain. I pray that one day I can forgive you and I pray that Aspen will forgive me for making such a reckless choice when choosing a father for her.

Letter to my dreams...

Dear Dreams

It seems like I am always dreaming. Dreaming of something more! Dreaming of being something more. To me dreams aren't necessarily just the kind you have when your asleep. Dreams to me are the things you inspire about. The things that always seem a little out of reach but, yet just right there. My dream is to be an inspiration to people who have broken spirits. Woman and children who have been so hurt that hurt is all they know. I want to inspire them to know something positive and to feel something more then just pain. My dream is to have a shelter for woman and children who were brave enough to run from pain. My dream is to leave a hand print on all of my dearest friends lives. I dream of being a caring wife and I dream of watching my children grow to be exactly what God intended them to be. I dream of a house in the country with a beautiful wrap around porch and red barn! I dream of growing old with the love of my life and my dearest friends. I dream of having relationships so strong that not even death could break our bond. I dream to learn and become wise in my decisions. I dream of a day that I am not high strong and easily angered. I dream of my wedding day often! I dream to hold children who have never felt what its like to be safe and loved. I dream of being a grandma (50 yrs down the road). I dream alot and I know deep down that my dreams will come true. I believe my life will always be full of love, close friendships, fun and friends. Sometimes it feels as if my dreams are so far away but, once I stop to look past the messes that life throws at me. If I look past that I see that my dreams come true everyday and that I am a motivated person and that I will leave my mark on people! I believe in me and I believe in my dreams!

Dreams do come true!

Tdazzle;)

Letter #3 ...Letter to my brother!

Yep! that picture says it all! Exactly the way I remember my brother and I.

Dear Brother

I have always thought of you as a stronger person than me. I can remember as a little girl always knowing that you ran faster, jumped higher and punched harder than me. I always wanted to be just as strong as you seemed to be. I never was but, always wished to be. As teens we fought and kinda went our seperate ways but, I always felt a sense of pride that you were my brother. I secretly hated the girls that hurt you and secretly crushed on all of your guy friends.lol. Somewhere between the fights and growing up I lost you. I know that you feel like it was when you left and went to Canada but, for me it was as if I lost you way before you ever got on that plane. I would stay up at night just wondering what you were doing in that far away land you left to go to(and often wondered why you didnt take me with you) and I would always pray that God would somehow keep me in your heart! I have missed you for so long now that its almost become a part of me. My heart has no doubt hardened to the situation but, I do long to have my big brother back! I do wish often that I could pick up the phone and call you and tell you that someone has been mean to me or just call you for advice but, it seems so awkward and strange because you and I are almost strangers now. I know we are adults now and that we have our own lives and families. I am proud of the resoponsible person you are today. You seem to be very successful and you can tell you genuinely love and care for your family. I know life isnt always easy and for you and I it has never been. I guess you can say we just got used to that at an early age. I will forever be grateful for the things you did for me. The times you stood up for me. I just want you to know that while I feel as if we arent as close as siblings should be I still look up to you and probably always will. I love you brother bear!

Love,

Tanya Mae!

Letter #2...Oh my Shemar Moore!

Today I am supposed to write a letter to my celebrity crush.

Dear Mr. Hotness

You are truely one of Gods most beautiful creations

I have had a crazy white girl crush on you since I saw you in " Diary of a Mad Black Woman" that movie was amazing and is still on my top 10 list of all time favorite movies but, not just because you are a leading part in it. I watched that movie during one of the darkest most lonely times of my life. I had just broke up with my very first love and thought that I would never be ok. That movie gave me hope and although I know that it was a indeed just a movie it made me hope for something better in my life. Eventually my something better came. I can only hope that you as a "real" person are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the out.

Thank you baby jesus for this fine black man!

Tdazzle!

Letter # 1 ...My Best Friend

Ok, so this is a hard choice for me. I have a handful of great friends but, I have thought it out and decided to write a letter to my best friend Jes. She has been my friend the longest so she wins this one. So here it goes:

J2theK (thats what I call her)

I have known you for so long. I feel like I have always known you. I believe their are people in our lives that we know and understand before we ever meet them and you are that person for me. I dont believe that you always understand me but, I know without hesitation that you know my motives and my soul. Anytime someone has talked about having a soul mate your name and face pop into my head. I believe without a doubt that you were placed on this earth to be my best friend. I know with certainty that you will remain my best friend for as long as I live. I also believe that the connection we share could never be separated by death. I believe I will always love you and be with you whether I am here on earth or in heaven. I without a doubt will never be the same person I was before you touched my life! You have touched my soul and will live there forever. You are more than a friend to me! You are the reason I am who I am today. On certain days I wake up to see you, talk to you and to make sure that you are ok. You have been my strength and you have allowed me to be weak! You have seen me in my darkest hour and you have shared in my brightest days. You love me with out conditions and no one in my life has ever done that. You and I share a depth of sorrow that no one understands but us. I believe it was or sorrows and our brokeness that lead us to become friends so quickly and I think that we remain friends because we have shed a bit of hope into each other darkness! I love you beyond any words that have ever been written and I hope that no matter what our lives bring us that you will never for one second question my love or my loyalty for you. You saved me in so many ways. You continue to amaze me with your selflessness and your courage. You are without a doubt my soul sister! I love you!

Love, T

30 Day Challenge....You should totally join in!

You all know that I love to read blogs. Im a blogger face for sure!! I came across this "30 Day Challenge" this morning when I was reading all of my favorite blogs. Here's how it goes. You write a letter to someone everyday for 30 days. Its up to you if you want to send it to that person or not but, just write the letter. I think it will show alot of emotions or feelings you have for the people in your life and some that have left. I hope you all join in on this challenge but, if you choose not to you can still see mine because I will be posting mine right here for all to see.

So here is the list of letters to write for the "30 day Challenge"

1. Your best friend

2. Your crush (celebrity or realistic)

3. Your parents

4. Siblings

5. Your dreams

6. A stranger you saw on this day.

7. Your ex (boyfriend, husband, friend)

8. Favorite Internet Friend

9. Someone you wish you could meet

10. Someone you dont talk to as much as you would like

11. A person who has passed away that you wish you could talk to

12. Someone who has caused you the most pain

13. Someone you wish could forgive you

14. Someone you have drifted away from

15. Person you miss the most

16. Someone you know not in your state or country

17. Someone from childhood

18. The person you wish you could be.

19. Someone that pesters your mind. Good or Bad.

20. The one that broke your heart the worst.

21. Someone you judged by thier first impression

22. Someone you want to give a second chance too.

23. The last person you kissed

24. The person who gave you your best memory

25. The person you know is going through the worst time right now

26. The last person you made a pinky promise too

27. Friendlist person you know.

28. Someone who changed your life

29. Person you want to tell everything to but are scared.

30. Your reflection in the mirror

Ok, the point is to write a letter to a different person in your life every day. Try not to duplicate or use the same person more than once. I think this will be fun and informative and if you choose to play along I would love to read your letters. You can post them in the comments section of each of my posts if you would like. Good luck!

Take Care of you,

T dazzle:)

It does not interest me.....

It doesnt interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesnt interest me in how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. It doesnt interest me in what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own: without moving to hide or fade or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy mine and your own: if you can dance with the wildness and let the ecstasy fill your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human. It doesnt interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint others to be true to yourself. if you can bear the accusations of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithless and therefore be trustworthy. I want to know if you cann see the beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon "YES". It doesnt interest me to know where you live, or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done for your children. It doesnt interest me in who you are, or how you came to be here, I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesnt interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in those empty moments. - Oriah House

What an amazing quote! These are all the things Im interested to know about the people in my life. Its the ugly dark times that make you realize the things that are so important to keep your soul inspired and fed. The things you long for in your relationships whether they be friendships or love relationships. Emotion and passion are 2 things I have always been full of and have also admired in people. I have lost some of that the last couple years and this writing only reminded of exactly what Im interested in. I love it and I hope it speaks to you the way it did to me.

Take care of you ,

Tdazzle